Somewhere in the Soviet Union in the 1930's:

The phone rings at KGB headquarters...
   
   "Hello?"
   
   "Hello, is this KGB?"
   
   "Yes. What do you want?"
   
   "I'm calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as a enemy of the
   State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his firewood."
   
   "This will be noted!"
   
   Next day, the KGB goons go over to Rabinovitz's house. They search the
   shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no
   diamonds, swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.
   
   The phone rings at Rabinovitz's house...
   
   "Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?"
   
   "Yes..."
   
   "Did they chop your firewood?"
   
   "Yes, they did."
   
   "Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."