MORE EVIDENCE THAT THIS WORLD IS FULL OF COMPLETE IDIOTS:

1.  Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an
    airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

2.  A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old
    friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced
    shooting beer cans off each other's head.

3.  A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety
    record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety
    goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's
    depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five
    workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening
    room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches
    after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

4.  The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear
    weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city
    limits.

5.  A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St.Louis,
    but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had
    boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back
    pain.

6.  Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on
    a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript
    to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in
    seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

7.  A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, then a few days later
    accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery.  At lunch, he went
    out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged.
    Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to
    the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

8.  Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a
    metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
    machine.  The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
    pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
    telling the truth.  Believing the "lie detector" was working, the
    suspect confessed.

9.  When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to
    hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call
    the police.  They still refused, so the robber called the police and was
    arrested.

10. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole
    a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped
    aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

11. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for
    being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a
    passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo: During the final days
    at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled.
    A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.
    Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his
    ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and
    it has to be FIRST CLASS!"  The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be
    happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and
    I'm sure we'll be able to work something out..."  The passenger was
    unimpressed.  He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could
    hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?" Without hesitating, the gate
    agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have
    your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the
    terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO
    HE IS! If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the
    gate."  With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the
    man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore
    "Fuck you!" Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry,
    sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too." The man retreated
    as the people in the terminal applauded loudly.